Barely Holding It Together
One thing about pregnancy that blindsided me was how fast every thing with my body changed. It is obvious that things are going to change, but I was not aware how the changes happening so quickly would make me feel and think about myself. Mainly because I had prior body image problems. These sudden changes were shocking. Even though I knew that all the changes were good and that didn’t change the fact that it was hard.
On social media you see all these women post about their pregnancy, mainly the good and happy stuff, but you can typically see their progression throughout the 9+months they are pregnant. All of these cute baby bump pictures, the ones where you can’t even tell they are pregnant until they are halfway through it. There are the women who intentionally ‘dress the bump’ all cute during their pregnancy. These are all things I feel like I missed out on due to how I carried and how quickly my body changed.
By 9 weeks if I was wearing my normal size t-shirt or anything besides something very loose fitting, I looked excessively bloated. Was it just pregnancy bloat? Possibly, but it was enough that people around could tell something was up. I had started to wear sweaters that were slightly oversized so that by 11am when I couldn’t handle it any longer I could unbutton the top button on my jeans and no one would know.
There were a couple of times that some of the people that knew we were pregnant would make a comment about how I looked at just 9-12 weeks. More times than I can count, I heard; “Are you sure you are only 9 weeks?” “You are probably farther along than that.” “We could tell you were pregnant right away, there was something there.” This was very hard for me to hear, and was something I thought about my whole pregnancy. Any way I could hide how I was carrying my pregnancy or how much weight I gained was a new goal. I didn’t want to hear those comments the entire 9 months.
We wanted to wait until closer to the second trimester to tell most people just because we were listed as a high risk pregnancy and it also gave us a little time to hold this special news close. The fact that at 9 weeks I was already struggling with jeans fitting made this very hard to keep to ourselves. I needed a solution and was not ready to bite the bullet and order maternity jeans yet. My mom mentioned the ponytail trick and told me to give it a try. Something so small and simple saved my normal jeans for a couple more weeks! The ponytail trick is when you take a ponytail, tie it around the button opening, and then loop it around the actual button, to hold your jeans together ish.
Ponytail Trick
Loop the ponytail through the button hole and then wrap it around the button.
tip: Using a thin cheap ponytail works best
Up until week 13 the ponytail trick worked amazing! Throughout the few weeks that I used ponytails I always had roughly 20-35 ponytails sitting in my desk drawer at all times. It was sadly time to retire my jeans and accept the fact that I needed maternity jeans when a couple of times I would be working and all of a sudden hear a small pop. An hour or so later I would look down and realize that my ponytail had popped completely off and I was bursting out of my normal jeans.
During the weeks that I used the ponytail trick and the few following I told myself it was a great thing that I was needing maternity jeans, it meant that the babies were growing! Even knowing this and reminding myself this, because I was always so worried about my body image it was still a harder transition for me. I would sit there and ask my husband over and over and over again, ‘am I getting fat’ or ‘do I look fat?’ He would remind me that I did not and that I was growing, not one, but two babies! My body was supposed to be changing, it was good that it was. It was all happening so fast that I didn’t feel like I got to watch my belly start out as a cute little bump and then slowly turn into a basketball. Part of me felt like I missed out on all those feelings and emotions of the transition. DO NOT get me wrong, I am very thankful for how my body handled my pregnancy and that it grew two beautiful babies!
Please remember is to NEVER talk about someone’s pregnant (or not pregnant) body! Unless they specifically ask you something, such as “Hey, do I look like I am carrying this pregnancy high or low?” or “Hey, can you be honest and tell me if you think I have put on a lot of weight so far?”. ONLY say anything that involves their looks if they specifically ask you, you never know how they are handling their changing body. It is okay and very common to be over the moon excited about your pregnancy and little baby, but also struggle watching your body go through so many changes. Body image thoughts are hard to handle before pregnancy and with all the extra hormones sometimes they can feel overwhelming. Also, the ponytail trick is key to feeling normal a little bit longer and not having to go purchase maternity pants.
