Plans Change

Being in your 20s is hard! When you were in high school you probably had a “plan” on how your life was going to go. Mine was; go to college, find a man to marry, get married, and have kids all by 22-23. I successfully did the first two of those things by 22… Once I found my now husband, the rush and my “plan” was no longer super important to me anymore. Getting married was still kinda on the list for as soon as we could, so 4.5 years later in August 2023 we made the promise of forever in front of God and our closest family and friends..

The whole having kids thing was what changed majorly for me in those 4.5 years before we got married.. I went back and forth on how many I wanted, when I wanted to try to have them by, and where we needed to be in life to start this family. The age that I landed on wanting to have kids by increased to 28, but before I turned 30 became my new “plan”.

The months leading up to our wedding, I was starting to change my mind again about our parenthood timeline. We had family that had a baby that year and more that were pregnant. Let me tell you, seeing your soon to be husband MELT over his niece will make you throw your new “plan” out the window so fast!

So we talked about it and decided that after our wedding, we would give ourselves a couple of months to a year and then maybe start to try to have kids. Fertility problems run in my family and while I have not been tested for any of them, it was something we were aware of and mentioned to my doctor. There were signs that I could possibly have some of the same conditions that family members have. When we brought this up to my OB, we were told it could take us 6 months to 1 year to possibly get pregnant and after a year then we could do testing and talk about options for fertility. We decided to go into things with this mindset that it would take us a while and again, moved up our timeline “plan” and start trying fairly quick after our wedding rather than waiting.

MAN, were we WRONG! We started trying to get pregnant in October and by mid November I got a positive pregnancy test! I know not everyone has this same experience and it may take someone longer . We were very lucky that our first experience was the way it was and our hearts go out to all those that struggle with fertility.

All I remember is being excited and scared all at once! Our “plan” of starting to try was no longer a plan and had transitioned into action; we are doing this dang thing! Time to buckle up and get ready to be parents. Those feelings of excitement and being scared never went away, they evolved as my pregnancy went on, but that is for another post.

Remember it is OKAY and NORMAL to be scared when you get that positive test. Even if you were trying and planning for this moment. Any emotion you are feeling is normal and valid, do NOT think you are awful or unworthy because you are scared or nervous. Even if those two emotions feel like they are overpowering the excitement at moments. You are about to go through ALL the changes and the overwhelming excitement will trump the nerves, just wait.

No matter what we set our “plan” to be or how it changes throughout the years, God has his plan for us!